Jun 17, 2009 - 04:30 AM
By Neil Crone
For the past few months, we've been in the planning stages of a move. As a result, we've spent an enormous amount of time pouring through MLS, scrutinizing real estate listings and, finally, going through other people's homes.
As anyone who has been through the process will tell you, it's about as much fun as a wet toilet seat.
For starters, you have to get up to speed on realtor-ese, a language more complex than Mandarin and very similar to Inuktitut in that, whereas the Innuit are reputed to have more than fifty words for snow, realtors have upwards of one hundred for fixer upper.
And frankly, I don't blame agents for getting creative. Have you seen some of the stuff they have to peddle? Norman Vincent Peale would be hard-pressed to find anything positive to say about some of these places. And of course real estate listings, as comprehensive as they are, can only tell you so much. That little piece of heaven with the immaculate gardens and spacious nine-foot ceilings sounds out of this world until you actually go there and see the uranium mine across the road. The adorable side-split with the exceptional open kitchen and breath-taking view looks like just the ticket until you realize that the view is of the rendering plant and unless you like to sit on your deck wearing a Haz-Mat suit, it certainly will take your breath away.
Likewise, some places look like absolute duds on paper, but when you get there, you can be wonderfully surprised. I can only explain this by saying that some houses just have a good vibe. And how I wish this factor could somehow be represented in the listing. It would save countless man-hours and untold disappointment.
If you think this is too "woo-woo," ask yourself how many times you've walked into a home, either while house-hunting or just visiting and, within seconds, been either delighted or completely repulsed. At some places, I've actually felt the vibe before even getting out of the car.
And it's got nothing to do with style or décor. It's an energy and it's good or bad. I can walk into a home and, completely blind to the orange velour recliner, the purple vinyl wet bar and the framed Scarface posters, fall in love with it. I've also walked into houses so spotless and artfully adorned that they might well have fallen out of the pages of a style magazine, and yet I could never get past the creeping feeling that the huge walk-in closet was actually a portal to hell. It's the vibe.
Our house, I am happy to say, has a great vibe. And it's not just me or us, although I certainly hope we've done nothing to decrease the vibe. The vibe was here before we moved in. I felt it the minute I stepped through the doorway. It was so hypnotic that I completely overlooked the kid jumping up and down on the hood of the car parked next door. That kid, thankfully, is long gone, but the vibe remains, powerful and positive.
A good vibe is a precious and elusive commodity. But for me, it's everything. Some homes, after all, are like an old pair of jeans. You step into them and you immediately feel good. You feel relaxed, you feel ... at home. You can keep your lavishly manicured grounds, your massive foyers and your over-sized soaker tubs. Give me the vibe every time.
Durham resident Neil Crone, actor-comic-writer, saves some of his best lines for his columns.
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